Getting engaged couldn't be more exciting, but once you actually start on the task that lies ahead of you, you may feel a bit overwhelmed. There's so much involved in planning a wedding: Should you have an outdoor event? Should you send save-the-date cards? When do you mail your invitations? Do you really need to have an open bar?
Your head might start spinning as you ponder the difference between an escort card and a place card. Relax. here are all the basics you'll need to help you pull together a memorable wedding.
Close your eyes and try to envision your perfect wedding. Is it a bold-colored blast with a trendy fusion menu? Or perhaps a relaxed, nature-inspired affair in stunning shades of green? Zeroing in on the type of ambience you want your event to evoke is the first step in making your dream wedding a reality.
For inspiration, grab a stack of magazines (wedding, home and travel mags work best) and tear out any photos that catch your eye. Lay them side by side and look for the common thread. serene blues and greens, for example. Chances are these colors will create the feeling that's right for you.
The number of attendants you choose is up to you. You can keep it small and ask just your closest sibling or best friend, or extend your entourage to include more pals or family members. Remember that you aren't required to have the same number of bridesmaids and groomsmen, so don't feel compelled to ask someone to join your bridal party just to keep the sides even.
Developing a realistic budget is admittedly not the most romantic part of planning your wedding, but you certainly can't do much of anything before you figure one out. To get a sense of how much dough you have to work with, determine how much you and your fiancé have available and sit down with both sets of parents to find out what, if anything, they are able to contribute.
Second, avoid putting people who know one another well on separate lists. If a B-list coworker happens to compare notes with an A-lister, for example, she'll likely realize that she didn't make the top tier. Ouch!
This is just what it sounds like: a list of guests who will score invites to your wedding if any guests on your A-list decline. Here's how to carry this off without offending anyone. First, send your A-list invites out eight to 10 weeks before your event so you have enough time to get responses and move on to the B-list. (You don't want your B-listers receiving their invitations suspiciously close to your wedding date!)
This is really the heart of your wedding day, and there are lots of choices when it comes to what's best for you. You can opt for a religious ceremony at a house of worship, a legal ceremony at city hall or a courthouse, or a spiritual ceremony in just about any location, from a tranquil garden to an elegant ballroom or private home. If you and your future husband are of different faiths, consider an ecumenical or interfaith ceremony that incorporates elements from each of your religious traditions.
If you're thinking about tying the knot across the country or even halfway around the world, you're right in style. Destination weddings are getting more popular all the time. If you want to get hitched abroad, be sure to thoroughly research your dream destination's marriage requirements. Some mandate that you must be in the country for a specific number of days before the wedding, for example. Another option: Skip the hassle of foreign laws, marry officially in the U.S., and then have a religious or spiritual ceremony and a reception at your destination.
Don't leave for the ceremony without an emergency kit packed with essentials for tackling common wedding-day mishaps like torn hems or broken heels. Some must-haves: double-sided fabric tape, a small sewing kit, superglue, deodorant, breath mints, clear nail polish, moleskin and tissues.
These are entirely optional, but they can be a fun way for the bride's and groom's family and friends to get acquainted before the wedding day. Any willing friend or relative can host an engagement party, but if more than one is planned, the bride's parents get the first shot if they wish to host. The party can be a traditional cocktail party, a laid-back barbecue or a buffet brunch. anything goes!
If you really don't know the difference between these and place cards, you are not alone (even some wedding pros get this one wrong!). 'Escort card' is the name for the cards used to indicate each guest's table assignment. These miniature missives, which are usually arranged on a table near the entrance to the dining room, serve a practical purpose, but also offer a chance to get creative. For example, you might write names and table numbers on Christmas tree ornaments for a holiday affair; small gourds or pumpkins for a fall fête; or seashells and sand dollars for a summer celebration.
Take a cue from the hit TV show Dancing with the Stars and spend a few weeks polishing your steps for your first dance. Whether you waltz, tango or swing, a little practice (or even a few lessons) can make the difference between shuffling nervously around the dance floor and wowing your guests with your smooth moves.
Show your guests how much you appreciate their presence with a thoughtful favor. Skip the candle or cookie (old news!) and consider petite treats with a purpose. Think silver luggage tags, cool coasters or corkscrews, or packets of sophisticated cocktail mixes to go. Check out these websites for a creative selection of budget-friendly favors: theweddingshopper.com, favorwarehouse.com, myweddingfavors.com, and favoraffair.com.
If you're thinking of something a little more personal, try making a donation to your favorite charity on behalf of your guests. The I Do Foundation offers a simple and easy way to make your donation. You can choose an organization from their list or suggest your own. Place cards are also available for purchase to let your guests know about the special gift.
A tradition that originated in the South, a groom's cake. which can sit near the wedding cake or on a separate table at the reception. is a fun addition. Surprise your guy with a confection that reflects his hobbies or interests. A baseball fan will love a bat- or hat-shaped cake, while a music lover will appreciate a treat shaped like his favorite instrument. You can serve the cake at the reception or box up slices for guests to take home.
Looking for ways to put your personal stamp on your wedding? Consider including elements. from food to colors to music. that honor your and your fiancé's family heritage. Be sure to explain the significance to your guests. For example, you can describe specific customs or songs in the wedding program or highlight special dishes on menu cards at each place setting.
Ideally, you should start your search for the perfect invitations six to eight months before your wedding and place your order at least four months before your date. If you don't make those deadlines, ask the printer to send the envelopes ahead of the invitations themselves. This way, you can get a head start on the time-consuming task of addressing the envelopes.
This role usually goes to a close female friend or relative between the ages of nine and 14. Your junior bridesmaid (if you decide to have one) will, of course, skip the bachelorette party and won't be expected to chip in on the cost of a bridal shower. She and her parents should, however, be invited to the rehearsal dinner.
Show your youngest guests a great time by seating them all at a special kids' table designed with them in mind (see page tk for inspiration). Some tot-friendly ideas: Put a coloring book and crayons at each place setting or provide each child with a goodie bag of small treats like stickers, mini games, crayons and cookies. Enlist a willing teenage guest, or hire a local baby-sitter, to supervise the little ones.
One of the most dramatic ways to transform a ceremony or reception venue is with lighting. If hiring a professional is within your budget (they can be more affordable than you might think!), he or she can do virtually anything from projecting your initials onto the dance floor to spotlighting centerpieces to creating an intriguing 'starry night' effect on the ceiling. If you can't afford a lighting designer, try this inexpensive trick: Replace the existing light bulbs with pink- or amber-hued ones which will cast a flattering, romantic glow.
The big music question used to be 'Band or DJ?' These days, many couples aren't limiting themselves to one or the other. they're hiring both! Each can take turns performing or the band can play during the early part of the reception and the DJ can take over later on, to create more of a nightclub feel. The latest idea couples like is to use an iPod to play the tunes they want to hear (perfect for in between sets or at the cocktail hour). Just make sure your venue has good speakers.
Here's how to spread the good news. Contact your chosen newspapers. some provide forms for you to fill out, while others allow you to craft your own wording. If they run photos with the announcements, get the specifics: Do they accept digital pictures? What size? Will prints be returned? As for timing, engagement announcements can run up to a year before the wedding, but two to three months in advance is customary. Wedding news can be published just as soon as you've said 'I do.'
Having an open bar is common at weddings and is even expected in many regions. If you're concerned about the cost, there are a few wallet-friendly alternatives: Have an open bar for the cocktail hour and then switch to just beer and wine; serve only beer and wine for the entire event; or forgo alcohol altogether and offer a variety of soft drinks.
The one no-no: a cash bar where guests are expected to pay for their drinks. You wouldn't expect your friends to pony up for what they'd drink if you invited them over to your house, so you certainly can't ask them to do so at your wedding.
A glorious breeze, the sun setting in the background…ah, the beauty of an outdoor wedding can be hard to top. Just be sure to have a solid backup plan in case Mother Nature doesn't cooperate with your plans. Ideally, you should have an alternate indoor location that you feel comfortable with, but there are other options if you want to ensure that you keep the event outdoors: Have large tents on hold at the party rental store in case of rain; heaters in case of cold; and fans in case you need to create a cooling breeze.
When it comes to your wedding fare, you obviously want it to taste terrific. but looks do matter, too! Creative food presentations are a great way to have some fun and to carry through your wedding color scheme. Some ideas: Ask your caterer to serve soup in shot glasses or mousse in martini glasses. Dress the trays for passed hors d'oeuvres and the buffet platters with a few large blooms or interesting leaves, like banana leaves, to add some flair.
At a formal wedding, guests are often assigned a specific seat at the table, and that's where place cards come in. These can be as simple as a tented piece of cardstock or as whimsical as a tiny floral arrangement. If you're putting printed menu cards at each seat, they can do double duty as place cards. Just ask your printer or calligrapher to add a guest's name to the top of each menu.
Between formalwear fittings, cake tastings and worries over pulling together a guest list, wedding planning can put a serious dent in your love life. So make a point to pencil in some quiet time with your fiancé. Whether you hit a hot new restaurant, take in a movie or just share coffee and bagels over the Sunday paper, keep wedding chat to a minimum (no easy feat!) and just enjoy each other's company.
Registering for your wedding gifts has never been easier. Almost all major retailers now have full-service online registries and most brides today are registering at three stores. However, if you want a variety of items on your wish list but don't want to juggle (and send your guests to) multiple registries, then Bgregistry.com was made for you. Bgregistry.com allows you to select gifts from multiple retailers so you can add anything you want from any store to one, centralized wedding registry.
Wondering how many of your guests are likely to RSVP 'yes'? Typically, 25 to 30 percent of guests decline the invitation. But don't count on it! If your venue holds 150 people, for example, don't invite 200 and assume that 50 won't show. If you decide to enclose response cards with your invitation, they should be printed with the date to respond by, a line for guests to fill in their names and a line for them to note how many of those invited plan to attend. Give your caterer your final head count a week to several days prior to the wedding.
These are a great way to give your guests plenty of notice about your upcoming nuptials. Save-the-date cards are mailed out six to eight months before the wedding, but can also be sent as soon as you've come up with a complete guest list and confirmed your wedding date.
Traditionally, wedding guests sent the newlyweds off in a shower of rice. These days, most couples have expanded on this tradition and opted for more creative options. For a special send-off, have your guests ring little silver or gold bells (yourweddingcompany.com), wave ribbon wands (jamaligarden.com,), blow bubbles (nuptialknickknacks.com) or toss pretty rose petals (petalgarden.com).
You know you have to write thank-you notes, but you might be confused by some of the myths about how long you have to get them in the mail. (Hint: You don't have up to a year after the wedding, as some brides believe. sorry!)
Follow these guidelines: For engagement or shower gifts, send your notes within two to three weeks; for wedding gifts received in advance of the big day, send your thank-yous before the wedding; for gifts received at the wedding, get them done within three months; and for gifts received post-wedding, mail your thank-you notes within three weeks.
These guys (who may double as groomsmen or may simply be other male pals) are responsible for escorting your family members and friends to their seats as they arrive for the ceremony. To keep things flowing at a good pace, appoint at least one usher for every 50 guests.
From the florist to the caterer, your vendors are the pros you'll rely on to carry out your wedding-day wishes. When hiring vendors take the time to check their references, ask for samples when possible (many caterers or bakers will do tastings, for example, and florists will often provide a sample centerpiece), and be sure to get everything you agree on in writing.
Writing your own vows can be a sweet way to personalize your ceremony, and it has become increasingly popular to do so. You and your fiancé should both speak from the heart, but try to make the style of your vows similar. For example, decide whether you'll be serious or humorous, or both.
This is a terrific way to keep your bridal party and guests informed of the details of your event. Many brides have found that a wedding website is especially helpful for keeping everyone in the loop for a destination wedding. Look online for services that allow you to create your own site for free or for a small fee.
Think wedding planners are only for the wealthy? Think again. These days, you can hire a pro at different price points, depending on the level of service you need. You can enlist a coordinator to orchestrate the entire event or hire one just for the big day itself, to ensure that things run smoothly. Consider hiring a planner if you know you won't have a lot of time to devote to wedding details or if you're planning your nuptials from a distance.
Be sure to order about 20 extra invitations and envelopes. You'll need them for any last-minute additions to your guest list and for redoing any envelope-addressing goofs. And don't forget to save yourself a few invites to tuck away as precious keepsakes of the day.
To prep future flower girls or ring bearers for their role, ask their parents to rehearse their tasks. walking down the aisle, scattering flower petals or carrying the ring bearer's pillow. with them in advance. You want to be sure that young attendants will feel comfortable when their big moment comes.
When the band or DJ plays the last song of the night, grab your new husband for one final turn on the dance floor. Then stop and look around at all the family members and friends who so happily celebrated the day with you. Now, savor the moment. Even if the weather wasn't just what you'd hoped for, or there were a few little snafus along the way, look back on your day with zero regrets. and look forward to starting life as a newlywed!
BRIDE: Jessica VawterGROOM: Amir AmirfarWEDDING DATE: March 22, 2008WEDDING LOCATION: The Ritz-Carlton, Half Moon Bay, CaliforniaBRIDAL PARTY: 5 bridesmaids; 5 groomsmenNUMBER OF GUESTS: 70BIGGEST SPLURGES: The location, floral arrangements and bouquetsBIGGEST SAVINGS: Cutting the guest list from 150 to 70
The couple's first moments as husband and wife.
After a romantic sunset proposal in Hawaii, Jessica Vawter began to plan the wedding of her dreams. She and her fiancé, Amir Amirfar, chose the Ritz-Carlton Hotel in Half Moon Bay, California, where they held their ceremony on the seaside bluffs. “It reminded me of my grandmother's stories about the coast of Ireland, where her parents grew up,” says Jessica.
The bride, in a Palazzo gown, poses with the wedding party.
The bouquet of white feather tulips with hand-carved wooden peonies.
Amir's boutonniere on a bed of spider mums.
To complement their modern, minimalist style, Jessica and Amir decided on an elegant color palette of black and white, with touches of eggplant and lime green.
An urn holding an arrangement of orchids, peonies, hydrangeas, calla lilies and roses.
Flowers in hues of green and purple decorate whimsical lanterns.
Floral tablecloths and dramatic centerpieces make a bold statement.
The couple applied for special permits to have public streets near the hotel and areas of the hotel closed so that they could create a feeling of complete privacy.
The stage is set for the day.
They cut their guest list in half so that they could splurge on the location and elaborate floral arrangements.
The place cards were set on a bed of moss.
A mini-cake for the bride and groom.
The pistachio-flavored cake with orange cream filling, atop a bed of wheatgrass.
Champagne sorbet served in a lighted ice sculpture.
A menu card describes the four-course meal.
Champagne for the guests.
A mini couple.
The couple share a private moment.
Whether you're hosting your own engagement party or a close friend or family member wanting to do something nice for the newly engaged couple, here are a few ideas for a celebration no one will forget.
If laid-back fun is what the couple is all about, then a backyard BBQ is the way to go. Set up some tables decorated with natural elements, such as leaves, branches and flowers from the garden, and add candles to create a beautiful glow if the party goes on well after the sun sets. Or, for something a little more elaborate, pick a theme and go with it-a country hoedown, a beach party or even a carnival. Once you've set the mood, fire up the grill and cook up all your faves.
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1) Send guests home with these personalized bags of caramel corn from beau-coup.com. 2) Keep your guests hydrated with a cool glass of lemonade decorated with mint and baby mums. Photo by Liz Banfield. 3) Have fun with the invitation-this old-time BBQ invite from minted.com. 4) Take advantage of the great outdoors by using your trees and plants as part of the decor. Add some candles for a little mood lighting. Photo by Gertrude & Mabel Photography.
Is the newly engaged couple a pair of night owls who love to party all night long? Rent out a club or turn your home into a trendy lounge and host a fun cocktail party. Make sure your bar is well stocked with champagne, wine and fun drinks. Keep the party going all night long with great music.
1) Your guests may not remember the evening, so send them home with a cocktail mix from weddingstand.com that reminds them exactly where they were and what they were celebrating. 2) This invitation from weddingpaperdivas.com lets guests know what kind of party you're throwing. 3) Set up a dance floor and set up some cool lighting. Photo by Socialite Studios. 4) Toast to the couple's engagement with glasses of champagne. Photo by Peter Silvia Studio.
Keep the celebration simple with a Sunday brunch. Set out an assortment of the couple's favorite breakfast foods and let guests mingle while they drink their morning coffee or sip a delicious mimosa.
1) These personalized tea tins from beau-coup.com make the perfect party favors for this engagement party. 2) This lotus invitation from weddingpaperdivas.com features a clean, classic design. 3) No need to go all out with your table decor-just mix in a few potted plants with the platters of food. Photo courtesty of Elegant Affairs. 4) This strawberry and carnation pyramid is an eye-catching way to display food and add a punch of color to the party. Photo by Sherman Chu.
If you're planning your own engagement party, why not surprise your guests with the news at the party? Invite everyone to the celebration but keep mum about what it's all about. Your big reveal can be as simple as an announcement or as elaborate as creating a movie re-enacting the proposal.
1) Let your guests in on the big secret with a toast to your engagement. Photo by Kenzie Shores Photography. 2) Already picked out your wedding colors? Give guests a sneak peak with your flower arrangements and other decor. Photo by Giraffe Photography. 3) Give your guests a sugar rush with a fun candy bar. Photo by Giraffe Photography. 4) Serve up fun finger foods like these mini burgers and fries. Photo by Rachel McGinn.
Want something a little more intimate? A traditional family dinner is the way to go-what better way to celebrate the big news than with a room full of family and close friends? Make reservations at a favorite restaurant or make it a potluck dinner at someone's home.
1) Create a romantic setting by putting up strings of twinkling lights. Photo by Giraffe Photography. 2) Decorate the room with candles and bowls of floating flowers. Photo by Annie X Photographie. 3) This invitation from minted.com features a tasty drink recipe you can use as a signature drink at the party. 4) Personalize the event by serving the couple's favorite foods or cooking family classics. Photo courtesy of Feastivities Events.
